Thursday, August 31, 2006
[Five Hours to Takeoff]
[Five Hours to Takeoff]
Yep, you're not suffering from cataracts - I am leaving Singapore for Shenyang, China, in about a few hours time.
While you cheap bastards are sleeping away, dreaming about your "dAaaRRLiiNk nEhhhXX", I'll be over your heads pulling a gooseberry from my seat at the air stewardess's English.
The insulting of bimbos is getting really fun.
I love it.
Bimbospeak 101 - How to be one without bleaching your hair.
"Aiie!! Ii bRokkex mIe nAiLz!! Iee sHo nEEdx 2 gO 4 mAnnieecUrre LeiX!"
For the uninitiated, it simply means the poor lamb had a piece of keratin chipped off her finger and needs to undergo some dead cell surgery.
"Eee Mr. Poh! mIe DaArRLiNg Poh Poh! He shO cUUteX lAhX. Mr. Poh rOxZz!! DeR bEsht MatHs cHerR eVa!! iEe LurRrRbEx eUux!!"
Erm, once again, this sweetie has gotten herself in a teacher-student relationship... well IMAGINARY teacher-student relationship. In bimbo speech, "DaArRLiNg" is like "darling", the name you call the man you've married for nearly 50 years, "cUUteX" is what you would call any small and pink object (except in this case Mr. Poh is tall, bald and... erm, pink), "rOxZz" is the object that makes you trip and fall while travelling along a rough gravel road, and "LurRrRbEx" is what men call "shagging", women "making love", prostitutes "making money" and biologists "mating".
"wEe r fWeNxZxx 4 eVaxx nEhxxZx~~~"
In this example, "wEe", contrary to what most think, is not the act of excreting liquid waste from the bladder but is a collective form of addressing oneselves, like the English term, "we". "r" has been upgraded from being the 18th letter in the English alphabet to serving the purpose of being "are" when people just can't flex their fingers to put in the "a" and the "e". "fWeNxZxx" may look aesthetically pleasing but please, you'll lose your "fweNxZxx" if you ever, ever, EVER pronounce "friends" that way. You'd be better off calling them "allies" (not "ALLEYS") or "mates" (as in, "Hey, mate!", not the act of sexual reproduction). "4 eVaxx" is actually one word, "forever", but our budding world peace promoters decided that they need to inculcate the art of Mathematics in their daily Netspeak to make them smarter, hence the "4". And once again, the "xXx"es are not sexual innuendoes, but rather, to make it aesthetically pleasing. Life is just plain without the 24th letter in the English alphabet.
So we've come to the end of our tutorial!
(Note: Typing bimbospeak is SO TIRING! ARGH!)
[fangying] [5:48 PM]
